A Lesson In Self Sabotage

I have received several emails, messages and asked by friends, family and some of you too, if I’m still editing my book “The Pop Up Store Chronicles” Surviving Your Start Up Years. Will it ever see the light of day? What’s taking so long? You’ve been writing this book for a year. My girlfriend Amy confronted me about the book.

She said, “Felecia, you know I had just found out I was pregnant with my daughter when you first started writing your book. She’s going on three months. You should have been finished with this book by now.”

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

Amy wasn’t finished. “Do you want to this pregnancy to last forever?

I looked over the rim of glasses and replied, “Excuse you.”

“You heard me. When are you going to give birth to this great book that is needed to inspire, uplift while informing people of what it’s truly like to be a small business owner.”

She had me on that one. I really didn’t want to discuss the book and remained silent.

Amy wouldn’t let up. “I’m waiting on an answer. What’s going on?”

I reluctantly admitted the truth. “People don’t buy books from people who aren’t successful.”

Amy stared at me as if I was crazy. “Say what?

“You heard me. People only buy books, especially like mine who have a proven track record. Why, because they are worth millions even billions of dollars. I have $101 dollars in my bank account. I’m going on my second year of business and in that time I’ve had to close my online store for several weeks due to no sales and some very, bad business decisions. Now I’m getting back on my feet and finally opening Wild Beauty back up June 1st. Does that sound like a successful person worthy of people spending their time and money to read my book? The answer is no, so I deleted the book.”

Amy exploded and let me have it. “That’s the dumbest and most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t hear anything in what you’ve just old me say you’re not worthy. What you see as a failure, I see as a success. Felecia, where most people would have said you know what I tried. It didn’t work and gave up but you didn’t. You took your lumps, acknowledged you made mistakes. So what? Your business closed for a moment. You regrouped, a bit bruised but wiser. Your online store opens at the end of the month.

I grudgingly admitted Amy was right. “Well when you put in that way-“

Amy cut me off. “This is what you’re going to do. Because you deleted the entire book, I think it would be better if it were broken into 1-3 page mini chapters. This will be easier for you to write and people to read. You will email me a mini chapter every day.”

I went to open my mouth and Amy talked right over me. “You will publish a mini chapter for people to read and wait for feedback.

I flatly refused. “The hell I am!”

She replied, “The hell you’re not!”

So here’s a mini chapter titled Embracing Your Entrepreneurial Spirit. I’m nervously awaiting your feedback. You can tell won the argument, which took place about 2 ½ weeks ago. I’m about halfway done with book. In business or your personal live self sabotage is one of your greatest enemies. It can and will steal the joy from your life. It prevents you from doing many thing and achieving goals. I almost let it stop me. Thankfully, I had an amazing friend, who helped me learn a very valuable lesson in self sabotage. Please don’t let it steal your joy, like I almost did.

If You Love What You Do, Will The Money Come?

I sincerely believe the answer is yes. Success doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, patience, persistence, passion, work and a never ender faith that this is going to happen.

Passion: Love what you do. If you like what you do, you won’t put in the maximum effort. You will put in just above average to convince yourself and others that you are giving 100%. I know plenty of people who like their job but if you ask them if they want to be doing this same job for the next 20 years, you will get a different answer. This job is what they settled for. You’ll hear something similar to, “You know growing up I really wanted to be…..” Then you’ll hear the reason why they couldn’t achieve that dream career.

Passion is what you gets you out of bed in the morning. Excited and elated about what you’re going to do today. It brings a humongous grin on your face whether it’s writing a novel, consulting with a client or making another sale with your product. This is what you were born to do. It’s in your DNA. It’s all you think about. Some may call you obsessive but really it’s the fact, you love what you do.

Persistence: When you get twenty five no’s in a row, call after call you, it’s easily to feel discouraged. Throw up your hands and say, “I quit.” Who wouldn’t? It’s a normal reaction. This is where persistence comes in. This is decision time. Do you quit on your dream career/business or take a deep breath, give yourself some words of encouragement and keep going?

True Story: The Chicken Soup for the Soul Series is one of the most successful book franchises. The authors Jack Canefield and Mark Victor Hansen were rejected by more than 140 publishers and they still didn’t give up. They knew this book needed to be read by the world to inspire and touch lives. They gave it to a Gary Seidler and Peter Begso of a small publishing company called Health Communications at a book expo weekend. They read it on the airplane ride back home. After a week Jack and Mark heard back from them. They agreed to publish the book. You know what happened after that.

As I said before success doesn’t happen overnight. It takes work, unless you get on the Oprah Winfrey Show but she put a monkey wrench in all our plans when she went off the air. This means you have to be realistic with your goals. If you expect in 1 year time you will make as much money as Bill Gates and your wife will be Megan Fox. Um…yeah…that’s not being realistic.

For example you want to write a full length science fiction novel consisting of 400 pages, now let’s start setting realistic goals. I will write every day for 2 hours and plan on being finished with my novel in eight months. Or your goal could be. I want to write this novel my 400 page science fiction novel in 10 days. You just might be able to do that and in the process of drive everyone around you nuts including yourself. But it’s still a goal. Now which of the two seems more viable, realistic and have a ot more faith in being able to achieve?

Which bring us to faith, if you noticed I haven’t written money? Money is a small part but faith is what will carry you and get you to want to go. If you’re relying solely on money to carry you through, I’m here to tell you¸ get ready for disappointment. Money comes and goes. Faith doesn’t. Faith will get you to pick up the phone and pitch your product, service or book after the 50th straight no, rejection letter and door closed in your face until you get that yes.

Now that’s faith. Remember work without faith equals failure. 

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